My Husband Wants Sex But I’m Not Interested

Table of Contents

• What to Do When Sex Feels Like a Chore

• Major Life Transitions and Feeling Overwhelmed

• Honest Conversations and Rebuilding Intimacy

• Embracing the Season You’re In

• Reconnecting with Intimacy in Different Ways

• Prioritising Self-Care and Setting Boundaries

• Finding Hope in the Shifts

What to Do When Sex Feels Like a Chore

There was a time when sex felt easy—something that brought you joy and a deeper connection with your partner.

But now, something has shifted.

It’s not just about sex anymore.

Maybe you’ve just had a baby, you’re pregnant, someone close to you has passed away, or you’ve moved house or changed jobs.

Whatever the reason, life has changed, and suddenly, your desire for intimacy has taken a backseat.

You wonder, “What happened to me?”

Major Life Transitions and Feeling Overwhelmed

Life transitions have a way of affecting everything, including your relationship.

Even when you’ve tried to make time for self-care, your desire for sex can feel non-existent.

It’s not that you’ve stopped loving your partner—it’s that your body and mind are telling you they’re tired, stretched thin, or just preoccupied with so much more.

Maybe you’re overwhelmed, grieving, or simply adjusting to a new normal.

When your emotional and physical energy is spent elsewhere, it’s natural for sex to feel like the last thing you want to think about.

And it’s okay.

This feeling doesn’t mean something is broken in you—it just means you’re going through a season where life is asking a lot of you.

Honest Conversations and Rebuilding Intimacy

When your partner initiates intimacy and it feels like too much, it’s often a signal that you need to pause and reflect.

Maybe it feels like they’re asking for one more thing on top of everything else.

Rather than reluctantly agreeing or pushing through to make them happy, it’s important to have an honest conversation.

Let your partner know how you’re feeling—overwhelmed, tired, disconnected.

It’s not about rejecting them; it’s about bringing them into your world and working together to navigate this phase.

By sharing your emotional load, you can create a space for understanding rather than resentment.

Embracing the Season You’re In

Here’s the truth: sometimes, life’s demands—whether it’s a new baby, a new job, grief, or a major move—can completely shift your priorities.

It’s okay if your desire for sex is affected during these times.

This season won’t last forever, and your feelings won’t always be like this.

It’s about accepting where you are right now and showing yourself compassion instead of expecting things to be the way they used to be.

Remember, there’s no rush.

Sometimes, allowing yourself to be in the moment can create the space you need for your desire to return naturally, without forcing it.

Reconnecting with Intimacy in Different Ways

When sex feels like a chore, it might help to think of intimacy in broader terms.

Intimacy doesn’t always have to be sexual—it can be found in a loving conversation, a shared laugh, or even in sitting quietly together.

When life changes make sex difficult, connecting with your partner emotionally and physically in non-sexual ways can help maintain the closeness in your relationship.

It’s also important to find ways to reconnect with yourself.

Have you taken time for something as simple as sitting in the sun or enjoying a cup of tea uninterrupted?

These small moments of pleasure help you tap back into your body’s ability to feel joy, which can eventually lead to rekindling desire in other areas of life, including sex.

Prioritising Self-Care and Setting Boundaries

During major life transitions, it’s easy to get lost in the demands of the moment, taking on too much responsibility without realising it.

Are you giving too much of yourself at work?

At home?

It’s worth asking yourself if you’re setting enough boundaries to protect your energy.

It’s important to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

To be there for your partner, your children, or anyone else, you first need to take care of yourself.

Sex doesn’t need to be a way of taking care of your partner, either—what’s most important is finding balance and ensuring you have the energy and space to take care of yourself.

Finding Hope in the Shifts

This phase won’t last forever.

Life transitions can shake things up, but they also offer opportunities for growth and reconnection.

By being patient with yourself and your partner, showing compassion, and taking the time to explore different forms of intimacy, you can move through this season together.

Sex doesn’t have to be a chore—it can be something you rediscover in a way that feels right for you.

Trust that with time, communication, and self-care, your connection with desire can return when you’re ready.