Don’t Have Sex in the Dark: How to Start Eye Contact During Sex
Eye contact during sex—just reading that might make you feel a bit uncomfortable. And you’re not alone. According to a survey by Crucible4Points.com, which included nearly 19,000 people, 45% of participants either keep their eyes closed during sex or don’t have sex at all. Of that group, 10% don’t engage in sex, while 22% keep their eyes closed, and 14% have their eyes open but avoid direct eye contact. If you're thinking, "That sounds like me," you're in good company.
But here’s the thing: eye contact during sex can be one of the most transformative steps you take toward deeper intimacy. It can be awkward at first—maybe even scary—but like any new skill, it gets easier with practice. And the rewards? They’re worth it. So, how do you ease into eye contact during sex and why could this change your connection for the better? Let's explore.
Table of Contents
Why Eye Contact Feels So Awkward (and Why That's Okay)
The Surprising Impact of Starting Small
Why the Right Lighting Changes Everything
How Eye Contact Unlocks Hidden Emotions
What to Say If You’re Nervous About Eye Contact
Why Embracing Vulnerability Is Your Secret Weapon
Try This Game to Make Eye Contact Less Intimidating
Why Eye Contact Could Change Your Relationship
Why Eye Contact Feels So Awkward (and Why That's Okay)
Let’s be honest: starting eye contact during sex can feel awkward. Think of it like trying out a new dance move; you might fumble at first, but once you catch the rhythm, it starts to feel natural. Given that nearly half of the people in the survey feel this way, you’re definitely not alone. A great way to start? Try making eye contact outside the bedroom—during a cuddle, a laugh, or while lying in bed. Keep it light and fun. This isn’t about adding pressure; it’s about opening a door to deeper connection.
The Surprising Impact of Starting Small
You don’t have to go all in right away! In fact, it’s better if you don’t. Begin with brief, fleeting glances rather than sustained eye contact. Look into each other’s eyes for a few seconds as things heat up. Let it build naturally over time. You may find this simple change adds a new layer of intimacy that makes sex feel more personal and less mechanical. Remember, 40% of people in the survey already make some eye contact during sex. Start small and see where it leads.
Why the Right Lighting Changes Everything
No need for bright overhead lights, but some gentle lighting—candles, fairy lights, or a soft lamp—can make all the difference. Interestingly, 15% of couples reported having eyes-open orgasms, and often, the right lighting can help set the mood for that kind of vulnerable connection. Seeing each other’s faces, the little expressions, can transform the experience into something more authentic and deeply connected.
How Eye Contact Unlocks Hidden Emotions
Making eye contact during sex isn’t just a visual experience; it’s a way to tap into the emotions behind the eyes. When you look at your partner, you’re giving them your full attention and silently communicating, “I’m here with you.” This simple act can build trust and safety, helping both of you feel truly seen and understood. It’s a non-verbal way of deepening your connection and letting your partner know they’re not alone in this moment.
What to Say If You’re Nervous About Eye Contact
If the idea of eye contact during sex feels daunting, have a conversation about it first. Something as simple as saying, “I think it might be fun for us to try keeping our eyes open and connecting that way,” can take the pressure off and make it a shared experience. It turns what could feel like a solo venture into something you’re both exploring together.
Why Embracing Vulnerability Is Your Secret Weapon
Feeling exposed when making eye contact? That’s actually where the magic begins. Embracing vulnerability means allowing yourself to be seen, which opens the door to deeper emotional connection. Every time you look into each other’s eyes, you’re practicing emotional courage, inviting more trust, and nurturing a stronger bond. It may feel scary, but it’s also incredibly liberating.
Why Eye Contact Could Change Your Relationship
Sex is more than just a physical act—it’s about connecting with your partner on a deeper level. Eye contact is one of the most straightforward yet impactful ways to foster that connection. It can help you break free from disconnected patterns and challenge the fears of being truly seen. With 55% of people in the survey making some form of eye contact or keeping their eyes open, it’s clear that there’s room to grow and explore.
So take it slow, savour each moment, and don’t be afraid to gaze into each other’s eyes. Every glance is a quiet invitation to say, “I’m here with you, just as you are.” And that’s where the real magic happens.
